Friday, September 23, 2011
Page 11
AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)
Henny Penny: Hysterical, or Clairvoyant?
By J’AMY PACHECO
I first became aware of the renowned literary character “Henny Penny” in a childhood coloring book. At the time—decades ago—I had no idea that the hysterical chicken who told everyone the sky was falling was, in fact, a clairvoyant warning us all about the future.
I should have made the connection back in 1979, when the space station Skylab fell out of orbit and scattered itself across Australia. But I was young, nobody got hurt, and we didn’t have the Internet to give us a play-by-play description of our impending doom. Therefore, the event didn’t have much of an impact on me—literally, or figuratively.
Over the years, occasional mention has been made of the possibility of things hitting Earth—asteroids, defunct satellites, rogue hammers dropped by astronauts. It’s been reported that there are over 20,000 pieces of junk orbiting over our heads, some as big as a Buick.
Now, all eyes are on the sky where a dead satellite is supposed to appear sometime soon. Really soon. NASA recently announced that its Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite has done its job, and is ready to come home. In pieces.
As I understand it, much of the satellite will burn up entering the atmosphere. Some parts, however, are expected to survive and plummet to Earth. The problem is, nobody knows where. Or when.
NASA says there is a one-in-3,200 chance that someone, somewhere will be hit by a piece of debris. Only one person has ever reported being hit by man-made space debris—an Oklahoma woman who was tapped on the shoulder by a piece of melted insulation from a rocket’s fuel tank in 1997.
That should be comforting, but I read that a person has about a one-in-18 million shot at winning the lottery. And people win the lottery a couple times a week.
Doesn’t that make you want to pull out a big, strong umbrella? Or go buy a lottery ticket?
The most recent word from NASA is that, based upon the satellite’s current position, North America is safe. That’s great news—unless, of course, you happen to live in South America, Africa, Asia, Australia, or any other part of the world that isn’t North America.
Since most of the planet’s surface is covered with water, it’s hoped that the debris will land in the ocean. I’m sure that’s comforting to anybody currently attempting to circumnavigate the globe by water. It would be sad to learn that some lucky person won the lottery, bought a boat and set out on the trip of a lifetime, only to win the space junk lottery in a most tragic way.
I wouldn’t mind so much if the boat it fell on was, say, a Somalian pirate ship. If it didn’t sink, maybe the scoundrels on board could find a more honest way to make a living.
The U.S. government says the satellite remains its property, and that anybody who finds a piece should call the authorities to retrieve it.
That means finders can’t sell pieces on eBay. Since Somalian pirates don’t seem to give a darn about human rights, global commerce or anything else, I suspect they wouldn’t honor that, either. Of course, the way our government works, some bureaucrat would probably go bid on the pirates’ auction and hand over big bucks from the taxpayers’ PayPal account.
If the satellite fell on my house, I wouldn’t be so quick to hand it over. At least, not until Uncle Sam fixed my house.
For now, this big man-made object is circling overhead playing a cosmic game of “Duck, Duck, Goose.” Until it falls, we watch, and we wait.
A scientist with NASA was quoted as having said, “With re-entry we’re always interested in day-by-day and hour-by-hour details.” This may come as a huge surprise to NASA, but so are all of us down here on the humble blue planet waiting for that tap on the head that says we’re “it.”
Even after it falls, there are still at least 19,999 things up there waiting to come down—not counting asteroids. That’s a disturbing thought.
I can’t believe it took this long to make the connection, but it looks like Henny Penny, the hysterical clairvoyant chicken, knew what she was talking about.
Let’s just hope that NASA does, too.
Copyright 2011, Metropolitan News Company