Legislators Living Like the Rest of Us

Friday, June 24, 2011

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Legislators Living Like the Rest of Us

By J’AMY PACHECO

Good for John Chiang. A few days ago, I read that the state controller decided to enforce a law requiring California legislators to pass a balanced budget or stop getting their paychecks until they do.

As I understand it, the budget they passed wasn’t balanced, and then it was vetoed by the governor. So now, the politicians that rule our state aren’t getting paychecks and, according to one quoted in a newspaper, can’t pay their household bills. I have one thing to say about that: “Welcome to the real world.”

I’ve been watching with great dismay as entities like schools and courts take financial cut after cut. I’ve written here about my wish that instead of sucking more and more blood out of us little turnips, our legislators—at all levels, not just in Sacramento—would turn their attention to cutting spending that most of us ordinary people see as waste.

Gas prices are high, and my weekly totals at the grocery store are getting ridiculous. I’ve been donating boxes of tissue and hand sanitizer to my daughter’s schools for years because there is insufficient funding for such “luxuries.” If my daughter wins a part in a school play, I have to pony up to help pay for it. Students pay for everything from bus transportation to the locks that go on their PE lockers.

I think it’s great for some of those career politicians to get to experience real life for a change—to see how the rest of us live. And I have some suggestions to help them get by until they start getting their paychecks again.

There are two ways to correct an out-of-balance household budget: reduce spending, and increase income. If you’re not getting a paycheck, you obviously need to increase your income. That means a second job.

What kind of second job can a career politician get? It’s obvious: Walmart greeter. I can’t think of anything more appropriate for a politician than to stand at the door and swap howdies with every shopper that enters the behemoth store. It makes shoppers feel good, and when election time rolls around, it’s a sure bet that people will say, “Hey, isn’t that the lady (or guy) who always says ‘Howdy’ at Walmart?”

With the income part taken care of, it’s time to turn attention to cutting spending. (From their own budgets, not everybody else’s.)

Since everybody has to eat, the grocery store is probably the best place to start cutting expenses. And since they’re already at Walmart for work, politicians can easily do a big part of their grocery shopping at the chain known for its low prices. (If they don’t want their neighbors to know, they can always cart around reusable totes from places like Gelson’s and Trader Joe’s. No discount store logo will be visible, and observers will think highly of them for being “green.”)

At the grocery store, one way to save money on regular expenses is to clip coupons. Nothing makes a person more popular at a busy grocery store than a large packet of coupons that needs to be searched through at the checkstand. (It is, of course, essential that the purchaser actually buy the product represented on the coupon.)

Other ways to save money:

•Legislators can take group trips to warehouse stores and stock up on bulk purchases. Back at the Capitol, they can divvy up the spoils and every legislator can take home a manageable portion from those jumbo tubs of mayonnaise, pickles and olives in the ample trunks of their state-funded cars.

•Stop flying to Sacramento, and ride the bus. It takes longer, but the extra time will allow opportunities to bond with constituents, who will no doubt be impressed that the politician is saving money.

•Cancel those Twitter accounts. There is nothing any politician has to say that is so interesting or important that it has to be tweeted to the world as soon as it occurs. Having a tool to immediately transmit one’s thoughts—or images—to the world before there has been time to consider whether or not they should can only end in tragedy. Just ask Anthony Weiner.

(Yeah, I know Twitter is a free service. But legislators shouldn’t be wasting time tweeting when there’s a budget to be balanced.)

Here’s an idea: let’s not pay them for the rest of the year and use those funds to balance the budget. Don’t do the job, don’t collect the pay. That’s the rule, out here in the real world. Welcome to it.