All I Want for Mother’s Day…

Friday, April 15, 2011

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

All I Want for Mother’s Day…

By J’AMY PACHECO

I recently received an e-mail inviting me to enter a contest to win “the ultimate Mother’s Day present.” All I had to do was record and upload a video explaining why my mom and I would like to go on “the vacation of a lifetime.”

Neither the e-mail nor the contest information page gave any clue as to exactly where that vacation of a lifetime might be. That led me to wonder if the winner would get to choose the destination, which made me start thinking about where I would like to go if I had the opportunity to go on my idea of the vacation of a lifetime.

I suppose if I could go anywhere on somebody else’s dime, it would be on an extended European tour. I haven’t been to Europe, and I’d really like to check out the Disney parks in France; see some castles and plays in England, and ponder my Scotch-Irish lineage in—appropriately enough—Scotland and Ireland.

On the way to Europe, however, I’d like to stop off in Florida and check out the newish Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I’ve spent enough time with my nose in J.K. Rowling’s books that I’d really like to stroll the streets of Hogsmeade, sip butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, check out the wand collections at Ollivander’s, and maybe pick up some treacle fudge at Honeyduke’s legendary sweet shop. I can’t think of a better way to get warmed up for a trip to England than to stop off in the reproduction of a fictional English village.

Frankly, I doubt my mom would have much interest in seeing how the world looks from inside a Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry student’s robe. For this to be the ultimate Mother’s Day present, therefore, I suspect I’d have to be the mom and take my daughter—who would likely share my idea of the ultimate vacation AND my treacle fudge.

But I’m not sure my idea of the ultimate Mother’s Day present would involve traveling. It’s not that I don’t like traveling, I just dislike flying. Especially since flying now means risking a frisking by the friendly hands of the TSA, both coming and going. Yuck.

I can think of some other things that would make nifty Mother’s Day gifts, however. The first thing that comes to mind is the apprehension of and an apology from the person who stole my husband’s car from the Pomona train station weeks ago.

The car was gone for more than a month and we were in the process of replacing it when the police called to say it had been recovered. We picked it up from the impound lot to find it no worse for the wear—just filthy.

I’d be a lot more forgiving of the inconvenience if the ordeal hadn’t cost us a bunch of money, for our deductible as well as the cost of a rental car after our insurance coverage ran out. I’d really like to look the thief in the eye, listen to their apology, then halfheartedly thank them for not trashing the vehicle.

Another gift that I would really appreciate would be to have a month in which everything was easy and stress-free. It’s not going to be May.

Months ago, we promised my sister we’d attend her law school graduation in another state. Weeks later, we received an invitation to a beloved niece’s wedding—the same weekend. We reluctantly took the “divide and conquer” approach—my husband would fly home from the graduation festivities early and attend the wedding, while my daughter and I would fulfill our commitments to my sister. A stressful plan, but workable.

I thought everything was handled until I saw the calendar for my daughter’s school play. The final performance is…you guessed it…the night we’re supposed to fly out for the graduation. So far, I’ve been unsuccessful at finding a red-eye flight that will let us do the play, get to an airport, and get in before the graduation the next morning.

No matter what, somebody’s going to be unhappy. I would like one month in which stuff doesn’t pile up like this. And I’d like it now, please.

I would like our crazy family dog to stop showing her enthusiasm for life by jumping on everybody. I would like my husband to stop using the kitchen sponge to wash out the dog’s bowls, even when I’m not looking. I would like at least one channel on our satellite service to not go to commercial when the rest of them do.

I suspect none of that is forthcoming. But this process has made me consider one other thing: I wonder what my mother would like? Perhaps just for me to ask.