With Subtitles, No Need to Think

Friday, March 18, 2011

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

With Subtitles, No Need to Think

By J’AMY PACHECO

How dense are we?

I recently read an article that indicated several television shows are starting to use subtitles to help viewers follow along as complex plotlines unfold.

In a nutshell, the subtitles give viewers information that they might otherwise have to glean from the program by actually watching, and paying attention.

Seriously?

As I understand it, part of the motivation for doing this is because we’re so distracted by other devices that we don’t pay attention. Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I can’t help thinking if a program is good enough, I’m not going to be motivated to start tinkering with a computer or an iPad.

My daughter, who has had her own computer since she was a toddler, loves to multi-task. She often plays computer games while watching television. But if a program is good, it captures her attention, and the computer sits idle.

Given as examples of programs that are using subtitles were “Lost” and “Damages.” I agree that both are complex shows, but I don’t think they’re so complicated that viewers need to have the stories spoon-fed to them.

I recently watched all six seasons of “Lost” over a period of several weeks. It was indeed complex, and at times, difficult to follow. But in the end, the only thing I found confusing was what really happened in the final episode.

Trying to figure it all out led my family to some interesting and lively discussions—discussions that probably wouldn’t have taken place if there were subtitles to keep us from having to think.

We watched “Damages” as it unfolded over the season. As the show jumped back and forth in time, we did occasionally find ourselves confused. But again, by having the patience to wait for the entire story to unfold, we were able to understand—and enjoy—the show without being hit over the head by a big, “Here’s what happened” stick.

It’s important to note that I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer. I start each new year convinced that I’ve left a significant portion of my brain cells in the last. The older I get, the more I notice their absence. I now keep my address and telephone numbers on sticky notes affixed to my computer screen, and spend a lot of time trying to remember what I went upstairs or down for once I’ve arrived.

If I can follow television without subtitles, anybody can.

I probably could have used some subtitles for the film, “Inception.” I never did get that. My husband and daughter loved it, but I fell asleep shortly after it started.

If a program puts me to sleep, no amount of subtitles will help, Oscar nomination or not.

There are areas in life when I could use some subtitles. The dog, for example, confuses the heck out of me. Our pooch has mastered the art of communicating with an annoying little whine that we only occasionally understand.

A whine by the door means potty, and whining by the food bowl means “feed me.” But when an empty, played-with, well-fed doggy sits and whines while I’m trying to watch a complex television show, I have no idea what she wants or needs. I suspect a subtitle would reveal her desire that I get up so she can take the warm spot on the couch.

Husbands could probably use subtitles. As a wife, I know we can be difficult to read. After 20 years of marriage, my husband still hasn’t figured out that when I say, “It’s fine,” it’s probably not.

I could definitely use some with my 15-year-old daughter. One of her “things” is to drop a huge sigh, and wait for me to inquire as to its meaning. That is usually followed by 15 minutes of me trying to wrangle the truth out of her. I nearly always succeed, but it would be so much faster and easier if a little bar would pop up to explain that “Nothing’s wrong” really means, “I have a math test tomorrow and I’m scared I’m going to fail, and I got into an argument with one of my friends today, and I like this boy, but it turns out he has a girlfriend.”

But there are no subtitles in life, and we manage to figure things out without them. I can’t help thinking that having subtitles explain what’s unfolding on television might be the first step in creating a race of ultimate couch potatoes—who not only don’t move, but also don’t think.

In other words—people who are dense in every way.