Yard Sale Leads to a Sinking Feeling

Friday, August 27, 2009

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Yard Sale Leads to a Sinking Feeling

By J’AMY PACHECO

I’m trying to think positively.

I can’t, however, help getting a sinking feeling each time I think about the state’s budget crisis.

Part of it comes from watching as people lose their homes, workers are furloughed, courthouse doors are shuttered and schools start begging parents for pencils and paper.

It also comes from watching as the government takes more and more of our paychecks, whether it comes right off the top, or in the form of higher sales tax.

But I think the biggest motivating factor for my distress over the state’s budget crisis is the expectation that it’s going to be helped by a garage sale.

When I read that the Governator had scheduled the mother of all garage sales for an upcoming weekend, I thought it was kind of funny. I’m guessing the man’s never had to schedule a garage sale in his life. I’m wondering if he’s going to be out there at 6 a.m. dealing with the early birds like we’ve always done on our own yard sale days, haggling over nickels and dimes as garage salers do.

I thought it was a clever idea to list items on eBay and Craigslist. But the first time I tried to view the items, I got an error from Craigslist telling me the listing had been flagged for removal.

Sheesh, California can’t even have a garage sale without messing it up, I thought. I wrote to the state’s webmaster to tell them about the problem. They never answered, but the next day, the problem had been corrected.

Sort of. Of the nine listings, four had already expired before I opened them, so there was nothing for sale. The remaining items included seven coat racks, eight stackable chairs, 10 office chairs and 10 wooden desks which, I noted, look like they came straight from the U.S. Army.

Perhaps I’m just suffering from an over-critical attitude brought on by over-taxation, but I couldn’t help noticing that one listing invited Californians to: “Bring the whole family to the Department of General” General who? General what?

There are also cars for sale. By the time you read this, the cars will be gone, but as I write this, there are five state vehicles for sale on eBay. Every one of them has an autograph from the Governator, and multiple bids. I think that’s pretty amazing, considering the state’s reputation, and complete lack of eBay feedback.

Further searching led to me a page filled with pictures of miscellaneous items being offered by the state. These include more desks, old computers, electric typewriters, jewelry, and an old wooden piano that looks like it won’t even play.

This stuff is going to be sold at the actual garage sale, which starts Aug. 28. Apparently it’s all been laid out in a huge warehouse; sort of like a giant WalMart, only filled with junk and lacking air conditioning.

But there will, I read, be food and entertainment. I’m assuming that food will be for sale, and won’t be yet another poorly thought out expenditure by our state leaders.

I know I should be more supportive of Arnie’s efforts to fill our state coffers with dull coins and grimy dollar bills. But the same day I read about the garage sale, I read an article about how our great state is now going to not only reduce some of our tax deductions, but is lowering tax bracket levels so that most of us will be bumped into a higher tax bracket without increasing our income by even a dime.

Where is this going to end? Honestly, I’m starting to understand why our founding fathers threw all that tea into the harbor. Taxation without representation was unthinkable, but taxation with representation isn’t so hot, either.

I think somebody with more math and management skills than I (or our legislators) possess needs to take a hard look at where all this money goes before we all end up serfs working the land for the lords of the manor in Sacramento. I’d love to see somebody who can actually balance a checkbook be in charge of Sacramento’s finances for a while.

In the interim, I have a really good idea. I’m going to pay those increased taxes in junk. I’ve got a garage full of it, and could use the extra space.

The way I see it, it will save me having to deal with early birds and hagglers, and give our state leaders something to do so it looks like they’re really trying.

The thought has me feeling more positive already…