Tilting at a Coffeehouse Windmill

Friday, May 22, 2009

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Tilting at a Coffeehouse Windmill

By J’AMY PACHECO

I’m not much of a coffee drinker. I have, however, developed a fondness for the foofy coffee-ish drinks served by the queen mother of coffeehouses — Starbucks.

Over the years, I have consumed many mochas, and many more giant cups of hot chai tea. I’ve purchased Starbucks gift cards for more teachers than I can count, and have even been known to pick up a Starbucks teddy bear or two for my daughter.

But a recent experience there made me decide to give up my habit.

You may already know that Starbucks offers a pretty nifty perk to its customers — the free iTunes “Pick of the Week.” It’s a small card that contains a code for a free download of a song selected by Starbucks and Apple for national promotion that week. I like music, and I like free. The two together, with a chai latte on the side, would ordinarily be a pretty sweet deal.

A week or so ago, I picked up a card containing a code for a song by a group called “The Decemberists.” I downloaded “The Rake’s Song,” and started enjoying my free tune. Not far into the song, however, I did an auditory double-take. Thinking I was misunderstanding the words, I pulled up the song’s lyrics.

I wasn’t hearing wrong. The song is about a man who regrets having children. When his wife and “ugly” baby die in childbirth, he gets rid of his remaining children by killing them.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I wrote an e-mail to Starbucks’ customer service department, which was closed for the weekend.

An acquaintance who is far more knowledgeable about current music than me explained that the song is part of a concept album telling a story that includes the nasty guy designated as “The Rake.” I read a lengthy description of the whole story, and actually thought it was pretty interesting.

Unfortunately, my introduction to the song came in a different context. I heard it as a stand-alone song about a guy who killed his kids and delighted in his newfound freedom. If I hadn’t investigated, I would have no way of knowing the song is part of a bigger, dark story.

I found it incomprehensible that giant corporations like Starbucks and Apple wouldn’t foresee the promotion of this song by itself as a potential issue with their mainstream customers.

Don’t get me wrong — I don’t advocate censorship. I have absolutely no problem or issue with the group’s choice of material, or the story it told. I realize that dark stories have been around for hundreds of years, and I’ve found many of them as entertaining as anybody else.

Since I heard the song, I’ve encountered many fans of The Decemberists who love their music. If somebody suggested I go hear them, I’d probably say, “Okay.”

I do take exception to the corporate decision to send out the band’s song all by itself. Considering my own shock, I can’t begin to imagine how someone who has experienced the murder of a child might react upon hearing what Starbucks and Apple decided to recommend for mass consumption.

I know Starbucks has positioned itself as being a hip and edgy place for open-minded young people. But Starbucks took over the world by offering a product that appeals to the masses. When I’ve gone there, I’ve lined up behind mothers, teenagers, up-and-comers, college students, laborers, business people and motorcycle groups. I even encountered a homeless guy drinking from a Starbucks cup. Starbucks clearly has a varied clientele.

There’s hip and edgy, and there’s offensive. I can’t help feeling that a line has been crossed here — hence my complaint.

Starbucks wrote back and apologized for disappointing me. They assured me they take customer complaints seriously, and said my comments would be forwarded to the appropriate department. Then they asked me to take a survey to tell them if my needs had been met.

I decided they haven’t. I “need” to know that the businesses with whom I choose to spend my money have essentially the same values I have. Any business that doesn’t see a potential problem with distributing thousands of cards for a free download of a song about murdering kids just doesn’t understand me.

So I decided not to be a customer anymore. I know Starbucks won’t even notice I’m gone, and that my individual boycott of their products won’t make a bit of difference. I realize my personal battle with the behemoth corporation is, in the great scheme of things, meaningless.

But not to me.