Friday, March 20, 2009
Page 11
AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)
Restaurants Guaranteed to Kill Your Appetite
By J’AMY PACHECO
It’s been said that truth is stranger than fiction. I’ve seen enough weirdness in this world that I would never try to dispute that statement.
I was, therefore, not really surprised when I read a recent Time.com article about a restaurant in Taiwan that serves potty-themed meals. I was, however, grossed out.
Called “Modern Toilet,” the restaurant strives to “shock and confuse the senses” of its patrons, who pay to eat food served in miniature toilets and sip beverages from plastic urinals.
Furniture replicates the bathroom experience, with each patron sitting on a toilet bowl and each table consisting of a sink topped by a sheet of glass.
The menu sounds relatively normal, offering dishes like fried chicken, pasta and Mongolian hot pot. The desserts, on the other hand, have names like “green dysentery.” There are others with significantly more disgusting names, but my fingers simply won’t type them. If you really want to know, Google the place.
Now, I’m all for themed restaurants. The music-themed Hard Rock Café at Universal CityWalk is one of my favorite places to eat, although I live far enough away that I only make it there once or twice a year.
The last time we ate there, we were served by a man my daughter recognized as a television actor – a really nice guy who was in the process of forming a rock band. We became instant fans, and have convinced a lot of people to buy the band’s music from iTunes. How could we not love a restaurant where we get to meet a future rock star?
Planet Hollywood used to be another favorite. We love movies and always had fun there, until we made the mistake of eating at one near midnight at Downtown Disney in Orlando. My daughter was exhausted, and when she realized we were seated near a display case containing the outfit from the murderous doll “Chucky,” she nearly lost it. I don’t know why, since she’s never seen any of the “Chucky” movies, but the experience was disturbing enough for her that we don’t go to Planet Hollywood anymore.
In spite of that, theme restaurants can be fun. But toilets? I don’t think so. I can’t think of anything less likely to awaken an appetite.
It’s not the only weird restaurant out there. There is, for example, a military themed restaurant in Beirut called “Buns & Guns.” Their slogan? “A Sandwich Can Kill You.”
At the “Pitch Black Restaurant” in Beijing, patrons eat in a room so dark they can’t see their hands in front of their face. Waiters wear night vision goggles. It’s supposed to be a way to heighten the sense of taste; I think it’s a way to serve food that people otherwise wouldn’t want to look at.
In India, there’s a restaurant that has grown around – and through – a Muslim cemetery. The tables are separated by graves, which are actually occupied.
In China, patrons at a Mao Zedong-themed restaurant are served by waiters wearing the Red Guard Uniform. Go figure.
I’ve been in some restaurants that are off-putting simply based upon cleanliness and food. I’ll never forget sitting in a mom-n-pop restaurant and realizing there was a mouse inside the box supporting the bench I was sitting on. Or the time a roach ran across our breakfast table at a chain coffee shop. Or…well, you get the picture.
I’m not sure I understand why anybody would want to adopt a restaurant theme that’s intended to be gross from the get-go. It must work, however, because the article I read indicates the toilet restaurant is thriving — and expanding.
Therefore, I’d like to suggest a few ideas of my own:
“The Desert Kitchen,” a roadside café where fresh road kill is served daily. You can even bring your own and pay the equivalent of a corking fee to have it prepared.
“Parts,” a lively restaurant where you’ll lose your head over the ambiance. Dinners cost an arm and a leg; and patrons have been known to occasionally cut off their nose to spite their face and…um…I should probably quit.
“The Gas Station,” a Route 66-themed restaurant where…er, that’s probably description enough. (Although I’m pretty sure this restaurant already exists, but under a different name.)
Feel free to swipe these ideas. They’re probably just disgusting enough to work.
But don’t invite me to your grand opening.
Please.
Copyright 2009, Metropolitan News Company