Friday, August 15, 2008
Page 15
AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)
Mixed Feelings Over Middle School
By J’AMY PACHECO
By the time you read this, my little girl will have begun a new phase of her life.
I introduced her in this column more than a dozen years ago, when she burst into the world six weeks early. Nearly every milestone in her life has been chronicled here, from the emergence of her first tooth to the time I came out of the shower to find her frustrated because she couldn’t get her head off.
This week, she leaves behind her elementary school years and begins her trek through middle school.
I remember being scared to start junior high. My sister, who is older and who I then thought wiser, convinced me that on the first day of school, the seventh grade students had to line up in the quad so the ninth grade students could throw rocks at them. I believed her, and was afraid to go to school.
Of course, that didn’t happen — even in the 70s, nobody would have allowed it.
I do remember some scary things — walking into the girls’ restroom between classes to find two of the “bad girls” trashing the place, for example. I remember overhearing some very grownup conversation between two older girls in the locker room — conversation that even today curls my hair.
To be honest, I’m anxious about my daughter starting middle school. She will be making the transition from a 100-student GATE school to a 1,000 student mainstream middle school. As if that weren’t overwhelming enough, her new school is 10 miles closer to the San Andreas Fault. Sheesh, what else can they throw at me?
There are a lot of other middle school elements that set me on edge. Kids know a lot more ways to bully than they did in my time, for example. I already saw “girl cliques” in sixth grade. I can’t imagine how bad they’ll be in a school where there are 10 times the number of hormonal ‘tween girls.
At her last school, my daughter got a lot of personal attention. She blossomed there, speaking at education-related seminars for the business community, and even interviewing a television producer on camera. She was given many opportunities, and proved herself worthy.
Until fourth grade, she attended another school that also had 1,000 students. There, the teachers called her “the girl in the pink coat,” never attempting to even learn her name. One suggested in her second grade year, when her reading score had dropped slightly, that perhaps she’d “peaked.” Of course, she hadn’t — she went on to much bigger and more beneficial things. But I can’t shake the feeling that those are the kinds of things that happen in schools that have 1,000 students. I guess we’ll see soon enough.
A friend remarked that my daughter seems to have grown up over the summer. Not physically — although she’s 12, I can still carry her.
If she’d let me, that is. She’s suddenly aware of every act, every appearance that could be deemed babyish, and determined to let them go. The girl who just a year ago lugged a Tinker Bell backpack and matching lunch box to sixth grade is now insisting she will brown bag it.
“Just a brown bag, Mom,” she explained. “No pictures, no hearts, not even a name.” I guess that means the teddy bear-shaped sandwiches are out, too. I shoulda had more kids.
I think what scares me the most is the knowledge that we’re rocketing toward the time when she won’t be around so much. One of these days, she won’t need me to serve as chauffer or wake up service. Fortunately, I suspect I’ll be needed at least in the role of financier for many years to come.
I can’t imagine my house without her iPod tunes or the Disney Channel blaring. I can’t fathom having a bathroom to myself, or eating ice cream without someone saying, “Can I have a bite?” But those days seem to be creeping up behind me.
I’m no crazier about middle school than I was about dropping my baby off for her first day of kindergarten just two days after the horrific events of 9/11. A lot has changed in the world since then, but a lot more has remained the same.
I may be geeking out over middle school, but my daughter is excited. She’s suddenly more interested in style — and even suggested I update my wardrobe in case anyone sees me when I drop her off. I suspect that was the first of many challenges we have coming our way.
Oh well, at least I can be reasonably certain she’ll keep her head on…
Copyright 2008, Metropolitan News Company