What Kind of April Fool am I?

Friday, April 4, 2008

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

What Kind of April Fool am I?

By J’AMY PACHECO

Is there any holiday that doesn’t become an “event” to a child?

Take April Fool’s Day. The night before this crazy day, my ‘tween scoured the Internet, researching April Fool’s Day pranks. She was motivated in part by her intense desire to avoid being made a fool of – if there was a prank that might be played on her, she wanted to know about it.

The other part of it involved her intense desire to successfully pull off some pranks of her own, no doubt on kids who don’t have Internet. As if there were any.

She was jubilant when she finally revealed her planned “prank.” I waited with great anticipation to hear what she’d come up with.

“I’m going to tell everybody it’s really March 32nd!” she exclaimed, laughing uproariously.

The joke was lost on me. I guess I just don’t really appreciate April Fool’s Day.

I got called for jury service on April Fool’s Day. When I saw my summons was for April 1, I wondered if they were kidding. I certainly didn’t want to be made a fool of.

Fortunately, when I called the morning I was supposed to report, I learned that I didn’t have to go. Which is why you’re reading a column about April Fool’s Day instead of one about the thrills of jury service. But don’t despair; I can still be called back later this year. Stay tuned.

Anyway, on April Fool’s Day, I ended up driving some of my daughter’s friends to school as well. The conversation from the back seat kept me in stitches.

The kids worried that the teachers would play a trick on them by loosening the bolts on all of their chairs and tables, which would, of course, cause the students to fall. I assured them it wouldn’t happen – but cautioned them to look at their seats before they sat down.

The other passengers didn’t get my daughter’s March 32nd plan either, so they started trying to come up with a new one. They ultimately settled on performing their hilarious song and dance routine involving Link, hero of a popular video game.

“That’s not a prank,” I pointed out.

“But it’s funny,” they assured me.

I suggested they ask all their friends if they’d felt that morning’s earthquake.

“There was no earthquake,” they asserted.

“That’s why it would be funny, coming from three of you!” I asserted. “You could top it off by mentioning the tornado that followed.”

“We don’t get tornadoes,” they said. Apparently, they didn’t get the joke of it, either.

My daughter continued to worry about what pranks the teachers might pull. I expressed doubt that there would be any, considering there’s barely enough time to get through each day’s curriculum without adding pratfalls and wedgies.

She probably thought teachers would take the time to pull pranks because of what happens at our house on St. Patrick’s Day each year. Before going to bed March 16, my daughter places a homemade treasure box, covered with shiny foil and glued-on fake jewels, in the moonlight. While she sleeps, the leprechauns come in and take the box, filling it with chocolate coins and other assorted girl treasure. They hide the box before leaving.

Legend has it if she finds the box before the sun sets on St. Patrick’s Day, she gets to keep the treasure she finds inside. That’s all well and good, but the leprechauns that come to our house play pranks as well.

Each March 17, her blinds are left askew where they entered. Green foil shamrocks are left scattered everywhere — and I do mean everywhere; toys are knocked over, clothing is pulled out of drawers – it’s a mess.

I guess if that can happen in your own home, it’s not a huge stretch to think that teachers could pull off some pretty impressive stunts in the classroom.

I don’t know how it works at the courthouse. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have to report for jury duty – perhaps somebody discovered the bolts had been loosened on all the tables and chairs. Or maybe they heard about the earthquake and tornado and cancelled court to be safe.

In any case, it gives me time to prepare for the next major event: Memorial Day. By then, I ought to have mastered the “Link” song and dance…