Physical Test a Runaway Flop

Friday, May 25, 2007

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Physical Test a Runaway Flop

By J’AMY PACHECO

It looks like we’re going to get a letter this summer from Arnold Schwarzenegger, the governor of the great state of California. Although I voted for the guy AND have seen most of his movies, we’re not very excited about it.

I suspect the letter will be written by a staff member and signed by a computer. But it’s not the impersonal nature of the letter that has me up at arms. It’s the content, which I understand will take us to task for my daughter’s being “out of shape.”

Since the day she started fifth grade, my child has been preparing for the state tests given to California students every year. This spring, she’ll be tested on her physical abilities as well as her proficiency in math, language arts and science.

Her class started using the track each day last September. Because of grass seeding — and associated chemical spraying — the students had to stop and were unable to use the track for several months. But they started up again a few months ago, and have used the track nearly every day, no matter what the weather.

One of the physical tests fifth graders take involves running a mile. In September, the goal was to get the students to run the distance in under 12 minutes. It took some doing and a little bit of bribery, but my little one managed to get her time down to 11 minutes, 10 seconds. She hasn’t been able to beat it.

That might not sound too impressive, but my daughter hates to run in circles around the track. She doesn’t mind jogging, and loves to run all over the backyard, but she despises the track, and is not a fast runner.

I was pretty happy about her time, until she came home and reported that her time had earned her the equivalent of a “C” grade. To get a “B,” she would have had to whittle her time to under 10 minutes. To earn an “A,” a student would have to run the mile in nine minutes or less.

The teacher advised the students whose times were greater than 10 minutes to expect the letter from the governor. My daughter, who has never received a “C” in her six years of schooling, was devastated and wondered if she was in trouble.

Not with me.

To understand my utter lack of regard for the expected out-of-shape designation, you’d have to know my daughter. Although she’s 11 years old, she is thin enough that she only recently was able to legally get out of an automobile booster seat. In fact, her booster seat can hold her until she weighs 95 lbs. At the rate she’s growing, she could still be using it on the way to middle school.

She’s so thin that in order to wear jeans that reach her shoes, she has to wear a belt to hold her pants up. She’s so thin that when she eats, you can practically make out the shape of each strawberry in her little tummy until they’re digested. She’s so thin that I still can – and do – carry her.

She can walk all over Disneyland without needing a nap. She can carry her two-year-old cousin, and chase the same child down the street. She can do push-ups, play tennis, and once climbed halfway up Bell Mountain. What she can’t do is run a mile in under 10 minutes.

She’s no couch potato.

I certainly understand the governor’s desire for California kids to get and stay in shape. I mean, the state’s entertainment industry would falter if Californians grew fat and ugly. Television shows like “The O.C.” would have to move to places with prettier, shapelier people. And where would that leave the Golden State?

Here’s my beef.

My daughter can read at college level, and earned perfect scores on more than half of her state academic tests last year. She’s really smart, tutors kindergartners, and does community service. Clearly she’s doing her part to make the state look smart. But none of that has received a nod from our action hero leader up north.

Nope, what is apparently going to get his notice is the fact that she can’t run a mile in under 10 minutes. In my humble opinion, that’s just sad.

If the threatened letter does indeed come, I think I’ll clip this column and send it to Arnie with a request – come on down and show my kid how to run a mile in under 10 minutes. Maybe with his inspiration – and example – she’ll be inspired to run faster.

And maybe while he’s here, he could give her a pat on the back for the academic achievements she’s made in school…