Sleeve-Sneezers: Bless You!

Friday, January 5, 2007

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Sleeve-Sneezers: Bless You!

By J’AMY PACHECO

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m suspicious of any e-mail that begins, “This is not a joke.”

It’s been my experience that if an e-mail message contains those words, I should probably read it with a grain of salt. Or better yet, I should follow its reading with a visit to my favorite online myth-debunking site.

Because I receive so many of these e-mails, I almost ignored the latest. Its subject line, however, caught my attention because it referenced flu season. Few things are more alarming to the working mother of a school-age child than the idea of somebody staying home sick, so I read on.

What I read was essentially a plea for all of us to learn to cough and sneeze using certain “techniques.” I followed a link to a video and was surprised and a little bit grossed out — by what I saw.

The video is called, “Why Don’t We Do It In Our Sleeves?” and was created by OtoRhinoLounsburgology Productions. (I’m guessing this is their only hit production to date.)

“Are you still coughing and sneezing the way they did during the Plague?” the makers ask just before launching into a graphic depiction of just what that means.

Nothing explodes quite like a sneeze, according to the demonstration I saw, in which “millions of disease-causing germs” were “launched into the atmosphere.” Ewww.

Gross? Yes. Informative? You bet. Humorous? And how.

I watched with disbelief as a guy in a hospital paused during a telephone conversation to cough into his hands, one of which was holding the telephone receiver. He hung up, grabbed a doorknob, and left his germs behind just as a woman walked up to the telephone, picked up the receiver the man had just coughed on, and made her call.

After that, she went into a lounge and ate a doughnut — licking a finger in the process. It looked like the Black Death just waiting to happen.

Doctor Ben Lounsbury, an ear, nose and throat specialist, is the brains behind this video. The intent is to get people to stop sneezing and coughing into their hands and tissues, and follow recommendations put forth (albeit not in an entertaining fashion) by the Centers for Disease Control.

So what, I’m sure you’re dying to know, do they want us to do? Well…they want us to sneeze into our sleeves. In fact, the makers of the video — which include three other doctors, two hospitals and a medical association —want to make sleeve-sneezing not only socially acceptable, but fashionable, and even downright patriotic.

The technique for doing this is to raise your arm and catch the cough or sneeze either in the bend of your elbow (the inside bend, of course) or against the front of your shoulder. There, it is explained, germs can be trapped and decimated, rather than being left on doorknobs and telephones.

As depicted, this makes perfect sense. We’d carry our germs around with us, rather than spewing them on unsuspecting strangers. But I can see some potentially negative results.

First of all, I’d hate to be dining with someone who caught a sneeze in their sleeve during a meal. Even if they were dressed in paisley, I suspect the result would be hard to look at.

Here’s the other thing: I’m the mother of a seasonal allergy sufferer who, during the worst times of the year, sneezes rather…shall we say…productively. I’ve taken to stuffing her backpack, her little pockets and even her lunchbox with fresh tissues for those moments when her allergy medication just isn’t enough.

I can’t begin to imagine her walking around school with the result of her allergy sneezes on her sleeves. It’s a pretty sure bet nobody would want to buddy up with those arms. Heck, I’m not sure I’d even want a big hug at the end of the day.

But after watching the video, I have to admit the idea has merit. It’s certainly going to make me think twice about where I put my hands in public places, and how I eat doughnuts.

I’m sure by now you’re most anxious to see this video. It’s online at www.coughsafe.com, and it’s worth a view.

Even if you don’t decide to start wearing your handkerchief on your arms, you’ll likely get a chuckle out of the whole thing. And if nothing else, maybe you’ll dodge that next flu season bullet.

Or at least the sneezes of strangers…