A Sobering Holiday Reminder

Friday, December 17, 2004

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

A Sobering Holiday Reminder

By J’AMY PACHECO

I love this time of year. It’s especially fun to have a child in elementary school during the holidays, when emptying my little girl’s backpack unearths sweet seasonal items like reindeer pencil toppers, tiny candy canes and notices about holiday parties and gift collection efforts for needy families.

So it was with some surprise that I read a different kind of notice that came home from the school one day last week.

“Parents,” it began. “This morning there was an article in the [local newspaper] regarding a sex offender who has been spending time at a residence on [the street on which my daughter’s school is located]. This individual resides in [nearby city] but has been seen in the vicinity of our school.

“The offenses of this individual described in the article are against children.”

The notice, typed by a school administrator and hurriedly delivered to every child and teacher at school just before dismissal, provided a description of the individual, and reminded parents to talk to their children about strangers.

The notice was handed to me by my daughter, an overprotected eight-year-old. Asked if she’d read it, she admitted she had.

“Mom,” she said quietly. “I know what a sex offender is.”

“Really,” I commented, attempting to regain some semblance of composure. “What is it?”

“It’s a person who cuts your arms and legs off,” she revealed, her lower lip trembling. “Nick told me. I’m scared.”

I gotta tell ya, nothing says happy holidays like having to unexpectedly discuss sex offenders with a child who still believes in Santa Claus and Tinker Bell.

Figuring out what to say was probably one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do as a parent. Technically, Nick’s description of a sex offender is not accurate, but I couldn’t help thinking of the high profile 1978 Lawrence Singleton case in which a young girl’s attacker actually did cut off his victim’s arms.

I told my little girl that Nick was wrong, and advised her to avoid getting “important” information from other children, no matter how well informed they claimed to be. As gently and non-specifically as I could, I explained the unthinkable - how a person gets tagged with the label, “sex offender.”

I hated every minute of it.

I don’t fault the school for getting the information out as quickly as possible. As a mother, I want to know if a registered offender is hanging out in the neighborhood. And this one, apparently, had been hanging out with someone who lives near the school, and seemed to pose a threat. That’s important to know.

However, I wish it had been possible to notify parents without panicking youngsters like my daughter, who now is afraid to use the bathroom at school.

The night I received the notice, I searched the online archives for the referenced newspaper and was unable to find an article about the offender mentioned in the warning issued by the school. I did, however, find an article about police going door to door to notify residents in that other, “nearby” town that a high-risk offender had moved into their neighborhood.

The provided descriptions of the two offenders varied in height by eight inches and by weight of 100 pounds, leaving me confused about how many newsworthy offenders were actually living in this neighboring community.

I asked the administrator who composed the notice where the information had originated, and he told me it had actually come from a nearby elementary school, where the offender had allegedly bothered a child. He assured me this offender was not the same as the one I’d read about, explaining that there were two in the same town—both making news on the same day.

It served as a scary reminder that sex offenders can be anywhere, whether school officials or children’s mothers are aware of them or not.

The administrator and I briefly discussed the impossibility of keeping children 100 percent safe, tossed around ideas for making our campus more secure, and went home.

The next morning, I read a new article about the offender the school had warned us about—he had been arrested for allegedly attempting to lure a boy into his car at the elementary school down the road from my daughter’s.

So that’s one down, one to go, and who knows how many more waiting in the wings. It’s a sobering reminder that our children require constant vigilance—even in the midst of this peaceful season.