A Whole New World

Friday, October 14, 2005

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

A Whole New World

By J’AMY PACHECO

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.”

—Nathaniel Borenstein

They’re not old enough to be professionals, but they’re certainly efficient at computer usage. They’ve mastered the use of a keyboard and mouse; they can navigate the online world with experience and proficiency some adults can only dream of.

Observing my daughter play online games is wondrous in that she can connect with friends from almost anywhere, and can even share an area of common interest with complete strangers without them ever knowing who she is or where she lives.

She knows how to look up information online, and how to send e-mail. At school, she’s even used the Internet to research and price playground equipment.

She also knows that it’s critical her personal information be protected, and that her computer use and e-mail account are monitored. She knows not to click on links, not to open attachments, and not to conduct online searches unless a parent is seated beside her. She knows a violation will result in the loss of her computer access, and never crosses that line.

There’s no question that we’re raising a computer literate — indeed, computer dependent — generation. I can’t help thinking that’s a good thing except for this: I’m afraid it may lead to the end of the world.

For example: my daughter has a best friend who enjoys the same online game our family plays. When we all subscribed, the girls met in cyberspace, became “secret friends,” allowing them to talk freely to one another, and set about playing.

By the end of the first day, the phone lines were burning up between the two girls’ homes. It seems they’d managed to get annoyed at one another, and one deleted the other from her list of secret friends. The action was taken in anger, and the girl didn’t realize the move was irreversible without parental intervention.

Apparently, one had typed something that was meant to be funny, and the other took it personally. One thing led to another, and before they knew it, diplomatic relations had deteriorated to the point that Mom and Mom had to sort things out.

There has not been a recurrence of the “friend” deletion, but there have been many times the telephone has been used to find out if one girl is upset with the other. It seems mere words aren’t enough to adequately express what the girls are saying to one another in the online world.

It wouldn’t worry me if I hadn’t experienced the same thing as an adult. A friend of mine regularly dashes off terse e-mails that often rub me the wrong way. The fact that I know she’s a sweet, caring individual who clearly has NO idea how she’s coming across is enough to keep me from deleting her from my own friends list.

A clever person invented “emoticons,” which are little characters intended to emphasize the tone in which a statement is intended to be read. Among my favorite is this: ;-), which — if you tilt your head to the left and look at it sideways — is supposed to look like somebody is winking and smiling. Unfortunately, unless somebody tells you that, you’re not likely to notice. And even then, it’s a bit of a stretch.

Some people also use abbreviations, like the oh-so-common “LOL” to indicate one is “laughing out loud.” It’s a nice thought, but it doesn’t always work. Plopped at the end of, “Boy, you sure are looking fat today,” it’s unlikely to erase any hurt feelings caused by the words that preceded it.

As helpful as they are, I’m afraid computers just can’t effectively capture the vocal nuances or facial expressions that let others know that we’re JUST KIDDING. Consequently, over the years, I’ve seen a lot of hurt feelings, angry exchanges and severed relationships originating from online exchanges.

Watching my daughter’s generation grow up immersed in the online culture, I can’t help worrying that that portends. It’s great that she may one day converse with colleagues on the other side of the world through her computer — but only if she’s learned to master the art of online diplomacy. And I don’t see anybody teaching that, anywhere.

I have this vision of a future president holding an online conversation with a crazed dictator from across the world, both with fingers poised over those legendary red buttons. One makes a joke to break the tension, the other misunderstands “LOL,” and…well…that, as they say, would be the end of that.

=(:-o)