Mom Ready to Pack It in

Friday, May 27, 2005

Page 11

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Mom Ready to Pack It in

By J’AMY PACHECO

Since becoming a parent, I’ve faced many challenges. Premature birth, pre-school separation anxiety, Pink Eye, embarrassing questions, barf in the grocery store — I’ve experienced it all.

But none of those challenges was more daunting than one presented on an almost daily basis — Monday through Friday, September through June.

That is coming up with a lunch my picky third-grader will actually consume.

If you’ve never been responsible for feeding a child, you probably can’t appreciate how challenging it can be to find food that will transport easily in a cartoon character-emblazoned lunchbox and will look appealing hours after having been shoved into a backpack, left outside a classroom on a hot day, and used as a defensive weapon on the way to the cafeteria.

Complicating matters, I managed to give birth to the only child in the entire third grade who doesn’t like peanut butter, American cheese or lunchmeat. No kid-traditions for this little girl, whose lunch of choice is tuna fish in a Tupperware Barbie cup, served with a fork — yellow plastic, if you please — and saltine crackers.

I realize lunch isn’t rocket science. But it’s almost as complicated, because what gets packed has to get an active child through an afternoon of thinking AND physical activity, and counteract the effects of the day’s breakfast – likely sugar-coated cereal or toaster waffles topped with imitation maple syrup.

Things would be much simpler if my daughter would buy the hot lunches prepared by the cafeteria ladies. Unfortunately, three years’ experience with institutionally prepared food have taught her that only a handful of meals are actually edible — spaghetti, corn dogs, chicken nuggets and turkey with gravy.

(The turkey meal is quite good. When I see it listed on the lunch calendar, I try to arrange my schedule so I’ll be in the vicinity of the school around lunchtime, just so I can pop in and eat there. Of course, the gravy is so loaded with salt and other mysterious things that I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it, but since it’s only served once a month or so, I think I’ll survive.)

Other meals, like the one nicknamed “Beef Barf-B-Q,” are not as appetizing. Some appear to be worthy of the description, “toxic,” and I’d rather eat shards of broken glass than force my daughter to consume the Chinese food her cafeteria serves.

So more often than not, I’m forced to come up with a lunchbox menu for my little gourmet. Deli turkey and provolone on a croissant moistened with Dijon mustard is another of her favorites. It’s also a rarity, because who the heck has time to come up with croissants on a regular basis?

On some nasty winter days, I’ve been known to deliver microwaved chicken soup in a thermal coffee cup to ward off the chill. But those days are few and far between.

A typical lunch will include tuna and crackers, whatever fruit hasn’t gone squishy in the fruit bowl, something crunchy, like pretzels, and some kind of dessert. Occasionally, though, I can’t come up with anything and either call my best friend for a luncheon intervention, or promise to bring food later.

Those days are my daughter’s favorites, because it means I’m going to zip through a fast-food restaurant and deliver a greasy bag and a soda to the cafeteria. On those days, other students stare at my daughter’s lunch, eyes glazed and drool escaping from the corners of their mouths.

No doubt about it, kids love the days when Mom can’t get it together in time to avoid fast-food lunch.

Minimum school days are my favorites, because the half-day schedule means nutrition isn’t quite as important. On those days, I stand before the pantry and refrigerator with an open lunchbox, dropping in anything that fits and hasn’t grown extra parts.

Minimum days are interesting in a school cafeteria. It isn’t unusual to see children chowing down on string cheese, leftover movie popcorn and sticky Airheads candy, and calling it “lunch.” On minimum days, moms know they can undo any nutritional damage with a good dinner.

Summer vacation is just around the corner, and I’m ready. Forget the laundry, transportation and homework woes — I’m just looking forward to the end of the what-to-send-for-lunch dilemma.

Because when it comes to packing lunch, I’m ready to pack it in.