Friday, May 20, 2005
Page 15
AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)
Oscar Mayer Dreamin’
By J’AMY PACHECO
Several times — and as recently as January — I’ve written here about my regrets at never having had the opportunity to make one of my dreams come true.
That dream — shared, I’m sure, by many of you — was to drive the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. I first revealed this dream in a column at least 10 years ago, after I read an article about unique summer jobs for college students. The article contained a listing that included a job that piqued my interest — driving the Wienermobile around the country, spreading good cheer and little plastic wiener whistles along the way.
My first job was typing and filing in an insurance agency. Not only did it lack the glamour and excitement of the wiener buggy, but it was also my first introduction to the torturous world of high heels, pantyhose and perpetual paper cuts. Ouch.
Making matters worse, my responsibilities included washing all of my colleagues’ coffee cups at the end of each day. Most of my coworkers were women, and most of them wore lipstick, and I found washing their cups absolutely disgusting.
I never had a traditional teenage job in my youthful years. I never flipped burgers, sold clothing or groceries, and never punched a cash register. I never had a paper route, never babysat or walked dogs, and I never got paid to wash cars.
After working in the insurance agency, I became a “Kelly Girl,” traveling to different businesses to do their typing. That was a fun job, most of the time. But it was still primarily an office job. In fact, most of my working life has been spent at a typewriter or computer keyboard — and I’ve got the aching elbows to prove it.
I was satisfied with my career until I read that article and wondered what it would have been like to hit the road in the space-age looking yellow car base topped by the big orange wiener.
Not long after the article appeared, my job took me to a fiberglass manufacturer in Adelanto, California. I can’t remember what my purpose was for visiting, but I’ll never forget walking into the plant to see a spectacular sight — a half-completed Wienermobile being constructed right there in what was then my city of residence.
Just being in the presence of that magnificent vehicle stirred a new longing in me. I wanted to drive the Wienermobile more than I wanted to be a Disney Princess — and that’s saying a lot. (Give me the chance to drive the Wienermobile dressed as a Disney Princess, and I’d die a happy woman.)
Knowing all of this superfluous background stuff, you can probably imagine the shock, surprise, hope, excitement…well, you get the idea…I felt when I heard on my radio station that Oscar Mayer is sponsoring a contest which could make my wish come true.
The winners of this essay contest will receive – get this — the opportunity to have their Wienermobile-ride dream fulfilled (as long as it costs $5,000 or less). All I have to do is figure out how to tell Oscar Mayer, in 100 words or less, why I should be allowed to ride in the Wienermobile.
Okay, so riding in the Wienermobile is not quite the same as driving it. I can live with that. But what I can’t live with is the idea that unless I choose the right 100 words, 20 people might get to live my dream — and I won’t.
You would think this contest would be perfect for me. I have a pen. I have paper. I can write with some credibility. Well, on a good day, anyway.
But 100 words? What can I say in 100 words to convince Oscar Mayer than I’m the princess…er, rider for them?
Entries are to be judged on creativity and originality, integration of the Wienermobile into the dream ride (are they kidding? It’s no dream, if the weenie-on-wheels isn’t included!) and elements of goodwill.
I may be in trouble there, because I’m feeling pretty competitive about this whole thing. I’d propose including a bunch of orphans in my trip, but I’m afraid there wouldn’t be room for me. And that would be bad.
So, if you’ve ever dreamed of hitching a ride on the Wienermobile, now is your chance. You’ll find the rules at www.OscarMayer.com; you have until July to figure out what to say.
And hey, if you win, do me a favor, will you? Send me a postcard, a wiener whistle, or better yet — an invitation to sit next to you on your dream trip.
Do that, and I may even wash your coffee cup.
Copyright 2005, Metropolitan News Company