Friday, February 20, 2004
Page 15
AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)
Barbie & Ken Split No Surprise
By J’AMY PACHECO
By now, you’ve probably heard the news more than once—the legendary, decades-long, “this is what dreams are made of” romance between Barbie and Ken is, to put it gently and mildly, kaput.
Frankly, I was a little surprised that the news got so much play. For those of us who have carried our involvement with the Plastic Princess into adult life, the “thing” between Barbie and Ken has been over for a long time.
Technically, Ken has been Barbie’s boyfriend since he burst on the scene in 1961 with his fuzzy flocked head and red swim trunks. Barbie was a teen fashion model; Ken was a man-about-town who wore outfits with names like “Campus Hero” and “Dreamboat.”
She sat beside him in his Austin Healey; he visited her in her cardboard “Dream House.” In 1964, he even stood beside Barbie in the “Wedding Party Gift Set,” which included Skipper as a flower girl and Midge as a maid of honor. Barbie was the bride, and Ken wore a tuxedo.
Something must have happened on the way to the altar, though, because according to Mattel, they never married. The following year, they appeared as Miss Astronaut and Mr. Astronaut, so I’m guessing they put their romance on hold to boldly go where no doll had gone before.
Ken’s been an interesting guy. Just in the 1960s, he was a doctor, an airline pilot, a soldier and a hunter.
He also was a groom—again. This time, he donned top hat and tails for “Here Comes the Groom.” That year, he took up skateboard riding; I can only assume that had something to do with the fact that Barbie never became Mrs. Carson.
Throughout his 40 years, Ken has reinvented himself. “Mod Hair Ken” from 1972 was, in my opinion, the goofiest look he took on. “Rocker Ken” from 1986 was probably the most promising, until “Harley Ken” roared into town a few years ago with his two-day stubble.
By then, I think, it was too late for him to capture the heart of the woman who had gone from prom queen fashion model to Olympic medalist, doctor, ice skater, movie star, pilot, cowgirl, lifeguard and more. How could a mere mortal compete in Barbie’s pink, glitter-sparkle world—especially with dolls like G.I. Joe on the scene?
When I told my eight-year-old that Barbie and Ken had broken up, she looked puzzled.
“Mom,” she said. “Barbie and Ken broke up a long time ago.”
In our house, you see, Ken was replaced the moment Mattel came out with the Ken-sized Elvis Presley doll wearing a black “leather” jacket and motorcycle boots.
Barbie’s fling with Elvis was short-lived, though; they became “just friends” when James Dean motored into town. Around here, James Dean has been Barbie’s guy for years. They have adventures Ken would envy —fighting off the buff Max Steele in the family room, fighting for survival under a “waterfall” in the bathtub and being launched, in their convertible, from the top of our driveway into the cul-de-sac.
And Ken? Each of the versions my daughter owns lives in the bottom of the toy box.
Nope, the breakup was not news around here. The announced replacement for Ken, however, was.
According to Mattel, Barbie’s got her eye on a new guy named Blaine. Blaine, however, is not a new guy in Barbie’s world.
Blaine came out a few years ago, as part of the short-lived “Generation Girl” line. He was a handsome blonde guy who dressed in a shiny silver jacket and carried a boom box.
My problem with the Barbie-Blaine romance is this: Barbie is 44 years old. When last seen, Blaine was a student at International High School where, I might add, as the only male student, he probably had a pretty good thing going.
Mattel says he’s now an Australian boogie boarder. But they can’t fool me. I know a Mrs. Robinson-thing when I see one.
I think there’s hope for Ken. I suspect this may be a publicity stunt, the likes of which has not been seen since Barbie came out in her underwear last year.
Family-friendly Mattel was quick to respond to the media hype about its lingerie-clad fashion models last year—much to the dismay of Barbie collectors like me.
For them to link middle-aged Barbie with a teenaged high schooler—well, it just doesn’t work for me.
Unless Blaine follows Ken’s lead and undergoes a transformation of his own.
I wonder if NASA is hiring astronauts…
Copyright 2004, Metropolitan News Company